Date: Wed, 15 Sep 93 22:04:27 CDT
From: Robert Dorsett email@example.com
Subject: Airplanes as operating systems (humour)
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Email Forwarded to me by a friend:
Future planes run by various operating systems:
DOS (Microsoft Command Line Shell - having limited memory, launched in 1981):
Everybody pushes it till it glides, jumps on and lets it coast till it skids... then jumps off, pushes, jumps back on, etc.
DOS w/QEMM (Quarterdeck's Expanded Memory option):
Same as DOS but with more leg room to push.
Apple MAC: (Launched in 1984)
All the stewards, stewardesses, captains, baggage handlers, etc., look the same, act the same, and talk the same. Every time you ask questions about details you are told you don't need to know, don't want to know, and everything will be done for you without knowing, so just shut up.
In June 2019 Apple iMacs made up about 14% of desktop traffic on the Internet worldwide. Now using an Intel chip, since 2006.
Microsoft Windows: (Launched in 1985)
Nice colourful airport terminal, friendly stewards/stewardesses, easy access to a plane, uneventful take off.... then BOOM! you blow up without any warning whatsoever.
IBM's OS/2: (Launched in 1987)
To get on board you have to have your ticket stamped 10 different times by standing in 10 different lines; then you have to fill out a form that states how you want your seating arrangement to be--whether it should have the look and feel of an ocean liner, a passenger train, or a bus. If you are successful in getting on board and getting off the ground you have a wonderful, enjoyable trip... except for times when the rudder and flaps freeze stuck, in which case you have time to say your prayers and get your personal things in order before you crash.
Microsoft NT (Microsoft's latest announcement in 1993, based on their work when writing OS/2):
Everyone sits on the runway and forms the outline of a plane, then they just sit there and go "PHHLLZZZSST" like they're flying.
In 2000 came the NT release known as Windows 2000, the basis for the hugely popular Windows XP in 2001, then Vista, 7, 8, 8.1, and now 10.
In June 2019, this Windows family made up 83% of the Internet Traffic on the nearly 2 billion desktops in use worldwide. The processor is an Intel (or AMD) chip.
Unix (first published in 1971 at AT&T Bell using the new C language compiler):
Everyone brings one piece of the plane with them when they come to the airport. Then they go out on the runway and piece it together, all the time arguing about what kind of plane they are building.
In June 2019, the Unix-like operating system known as Linux comprised 2% of worldwide Internet traffic, followed by Chromebook OS (a Linux derivative) with about 1% worldwide (about 5% in the US). Interestingly the Open Foundation who owns the Unix ® trademark, a group of over 625 members, have declared Apple's Mac OS X that runs on iMacs to be a certified Unix operating system.
With its 14% of total Internet traffic, it makes it by far the largest installed base worldwide.
Some background. Ever since the C language compiler became available in the early 1970s to hardware engineers and university students everywhere, literally dozens, hundreds, of different copies of Unix-like clones were published using different computer hardware models and accounting terminals in the late 1970s and throughout the 1980s. Became the basis of the Internet and email.
Twenty years later in 1991 Linus Torvalds in Finland released Linux, a Unix-like clone with freely available source code, including the proviso that all future enhancements of Linux, regardless of who wrote the enhancements, should also be free.
Out of Linux came
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